The Break

As this is about my depression and  my journey out of it, I would be wrong to omit everything about the relationship. The part I am going to focus on here though is the end. 

She was in college, and we would skype nearly every day. But then the day came where she said we should take a break, and we both knew it was right, even though it hurt for me. I was still dependent on others to help me feel better about myself, and I was so afraid of what would happen to me once she left and stopped caring. I took the break very hard, especially when the following day I saw a picture of her on Facebook with another guy. I felt like I should let myself die again, and sink away into the cold abyss that I had known for so long. 

I understood that she wasn't needed in my life any more, no matter how much I wanted otherwise. We were brought together to help each other grow and overcome challenges. Her purpose in my life was done. 

But I couldn't handle the pain. I was so close to falling back into the poisonous rut of depression, but I didn't want all of the hard work of getting out to go to waste. So to help myself keep from falling, I prayed. I didn't want the memories anymore, or the pain. So I prayed for God to remove my memories, but to keep the lessons I learned in my mind. 

I know that many in this world don't believe in God, but I do believe. And I know that He has blessed my life. And I know that He answered my prayer,and took from me the memories of her, but left the lessons. Now, of course I can recall some things if I wanted, but they are dim, foggy. They don't bother me anymore. 

The End

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