My Depression: Part one

Depression is an interesting thing. My depression magnified during high school, developing into what I would classify as major depressive disorder. It started in middle school, and continued to grow worse  as I entered high school, where I began to develop depressive symptoms previously missing, and those I had grew worse as well. Of the nine criteria in the DSM IV, I had eight of them, the only one that didn't manifest was weight change. I was not diagnosed, but from my understanding and from what my therapist said, I feel confident that had I received help I would have been diagnosed as such.

I can remember feeling as though there was a wall over my mind, a cloud that I couldn't pierce. My thoughts were limited to a small area, where only the most basic of thoughts were had. I didn't think about abstract concepts, or about anything complicated. Not only was the wall preventing it, but I had no energy to try and push through it, no energy to care about the fact that I couldn't think past it. 

I would sleep, or lay in bed whenever I was home. I was always tired. But I also worked out. You see, I was one of the stars on the high school track team. I worked out and kept myself very fit, and I was king of my races. But I still felt depressed, even though I worked out. What? Isn't working out and being active supposed to help with depression, make it better? Yes, but not for everyone. Especially not for those who's depression was strengthened due to emotional and social isolation. 

The End

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