Saturday March 31stMature

Today was boring at first, then again isn't everyday? Anyway towards the evening I went to my friend Mustafa's house and he had my boyfriend and his cousin over and we played games, music, played basketball, ate just got back from all that excitement and it's 10:15pm now in NC east coast time. Today Jerry, had a call from my friend's mom, Mike, the one who is away in the mental hospital now, called Jerry to give a message to him that Mike said. We all started getting worried about if Mike was alright or not, then I cried a little because he is my best friend and he stops me from cutting, he helps me through everything and for him to just be taken away I'm still having difficulty adjusting to not talking to him daily.

Tomorrow me, Jerry, and Mustafa may go and play tennis then I'll go home with Jerry to just hang out at his house for a while. Tomorrow is also April Fool's Day so that means that I have go around and get people pissed about falling for my devious tricks. I'm the major prankster in the WHOLE family so I keep up that reputation every year. It almost gets hard coming up with new material to prank my kin but I have an extremely loud fart machine from Christmas so I'll put that to use at my Uncle's house if I get a chance to prank him. Last year my friend and I just went around saying we're pregnant from each other to random people and then yell "April Fool's!!!". I tried to prank my boyfriend I was pregnant once but he is too humorous to take it seriously plus we both know not to have sex anytime soon because we are both still young.

(I just try not to feel bad about losing my virginity when I was a few months after my 12th birthday. During Summer Vacation...I am proud my boyfriend is abstinent, and he will remain that way until he is married, but sometimes when he says it's the right thing to do, or it's the better choice, which it is, I'm not disagreeing with him, but it just makes me feel dirty and that it's just disappointing in myself. I don't want him to feel hurt and feel that frustration afterwards and have that dirty feeling some people have when they do too early. I don't want to lead him down a bad path like I lead myself.)

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