letting go of lost ties

This is a piece about love and letting go. Letting go is difficult, it is painful, but it is not always a bad thing, and this is what i wanted to convey.

Sometimes in life you have to let those you care about walk away. Sometimes you have to give others all the control – all the power. Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason may be unclear for a while, sometimes you are left wondering how some situations and some losses can have a purpose. But over time this purpose will become clear. You don’t necessarily become stronger because of the things you go through, the tough decisions you make, the things you let go of. But you do become wiser and emotionally more aware, you grow as a person in ways you would never expect, and it is growing in those ways which makes you stronger in the end – not the situation or event itself.

Sometimes you just find the right person at the wrong time. You face the probability that things may have to end in one way and start a fresh in another. It doesn’t mean that feelings were not true, it doesn’t mean it was never meant to be, nor that they are not the right person. Sometimes timing can be inconvenient. The end of one relationship with someone could be the beginning of another with the very same person, in time you may rekindle what you both had to let go of. Even if that is not the case, you will survive and you will be okay. To accept that the situation exists, that maybe things cannot be fixed right now; that is progress. It may seem like your heart is being ripped apart, that your breath has been taken from you, that you are suffocating. You’re not, you just don’t know how to deal with the change. You’re scared that the change will bring about bad things, that there is no turning back.

You have to have faith that the other person cares about you as much as you care for them, that they will still stand by you in some way, that what you have is more than just the bond you both began to share. You have to trust that they want you for more than just the comfort of arms, the sweet nothings in their ear, the intimacy – that you have a far deeper bond, formed by compassion and a different type of love, not just passion and romance. This situation is not unfortunate, it is nothing to be feared, it is entirely natural and can only bring about good. Forcing things to work out, ignoring issues, it would only ruin anything that you both share until any form of relationship is unsalvageable. But by letting fate take its course, by being open to both possibilities, you are saving yourselves. One day things may return to how they were, at a different time, a time that is right for you both. You may manage to resolve what issues are there and stay together. But no matter what happens, you will be okay and you will find your breath again, your heart will stop causing you pain and discomfort, you will pull through.

Love is not temporary, feelings do not get erased, but you can make them less of a priority when it is needed. Sometimes you need to love someone in a different way to help them through tough times and the chaos that life brings about. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, that you were never in love with them, if anything it shows that you are strong enough to put them aside to focus on those who need you. Your heart will always have a special place for them, even if the future doesn’t hold a better time for you both. You will always feel the heavy and fast heartbeats when you are near them, you will still find great comfort and satisfaction from seeing them smile, that same beautiful smile that will always make you feel so much better, they will still take your breath away. You will always be grateful when you revisit the comfort of their arms, even if they hold you in a different way; you will always care for them. But you will realise that is not a bad thing, it has never been a bad thing and it never will be.

 

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