Dear M [updated]

Dear M, 

Well, thinks changed a lot from the last time I written about you. Not for the good though. I do want to apologise that I hurt you another time. I hate hurting anyone and I could tell by your eyes that you were in emotional pain.

But it was the right choice.

For the last few weeks of our relationship it was just hell. Lets not lie to each other here, we were just bringing each other pain rather than any happiness. Somehow after twice of being with you, I asked you for the third time although I probably knew the end result. Broken promises and pointless words that we both did not mean. I am completely to blame probably. I must admit that most of the time what was speaking through me was lust. But not emotions. There were some, but now looking at it from prospective of time, it was not a real love. I hate myself for this because I gave you false hope. And hurt someone else I actually had feelings for. 

If I must be honest, I don't miss you much. What we had was mostly lust, at least for me, with no much of any emotional bond. We had some great times together, I cannot deny that. But it was like a firework - exciting because it was all new, but then it went down and upon having first problems, we fallen apart. 

And, as harsh as it will sound, I am glad. 

Because that really opened up my eyes and made me appreciate real love. You said that I would just quickly move on from you and go for the next girl. I remember like yesterday, I said to you that I wouldn't... but inside of me I knew that was not the complete truth. We both forgotten about each other, we might just say "hi" when we meet. But that is how I want it to stay. 

Me and you will never work. I should of knew that after two failed attempts before. It would of save us a lot of mither and save so much time I could used somehow different. That you could use on someone who is actually for you. I want you to accept my apology because it is as real as it gets. I am really sorry for hurting you another time. It was the last time because I am not going there ever again. 

Friends or not, is really your choice, but looking at how things are now... I doubt we will be great friends after all of this. I really wish you the best in life because you deserve to be happy. Every single person on the world deserves that. 

I'm happy now. 

With how the things are. 

The End

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