"Dear 2011"

Dear 2011,

I hate you. I hate. SO. MUCH. From the start to the end, you were a disaster. How many bad things can happen in a year? Well, you proved to me that many can. My parents divorcing, my friends thinking about suicide, me starting to use a knife and thinking about ending it as well, going through depression, my grandmother in hospital, my friends stabbing me in the back, being dumped by the same girl 7 times. Just seriously, how much bad can happen in a year? Many times I was on the edge and I had enough of carrying on. Is pretty weird to even think about that now, me wanting to just go away when my friends said I was the most happy person they ever met. Just combining my problems and trying to help them it just got too much for me. Very too much.  

You changed me. A lot. I grew stronger and I stopped trusting people because all year from trusting people I just got pain.  So, I was thinking "why bother?" I was thinking that until I met someone in 2012, but that will be included in other letter.  

However, I cannot deny one fact. I have some things to thank you for. Firstly, I realised who are my real friends. I met new people in college that became my friends now and I had some great laugh with them. And mostly importantly, I learned something. Take pleasure from little things, try to make them make you happy. And I was doing that. Even small things I was trying to make myself smile at least.   I hated you, but you were also good for me as well.

That is in the past I should say, but then... that past  changed me a lot. Mostly in bad way unfortunately. But then you gave me some happiness I never experienced... just I hope when I will be writing "Dear 2012" I will have more positive things to say. That faith keeps me going.  And even though you were really bad, I am happy. That I could help people. That I found myself and I know I will strive to make my friends happy. I found my passion for writing again and it is a wonderful feeling. So, overall, thank you!  

Present me

The End

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