So,here I am almost in 2010 and I am constantly remainded why I am eager to improve myself,not just because I crave it but to empower my sons.
A cup of words with no meaning is what I had today,from those who surrond me not only at work as well in my personal life,if you can extract what you can from others without leaving anything behind and not pay for it,you will,that is the human nature,call me cynical or other means words but I preffer to be realistic.
That is how we value everything in life,we measure what we gain to the imput we are puting in and how much it will cost us in money value.
If i can put in a maths equation it would look maybe like this :
value of gain=input in in hours spend on the project at hand/money value used
But to me considering I raised myself in a family that took and took and continue to take so much and gave nothing in return,that equation means nothing to me,has no use in my life.
I would have become those I despise,those I have no time for in my life.
I am very angry at two people right now,two of the peolpe I love the most in my world,and so I am very quiet to them right now,in order not to say something I can`t take back,I live in this manner far too long to allow even those I love to change me,only God is allowed to do so,the rest of human kind is not important enough to me to do so,even my sons can`t change who I am.
I am sorry but that is the truth,anything else I may say would be a lie,and I don`t do lies.
If there is one thing I hate quite forcefully is someone lying to me,when the trust is betrayed,I think my friendhsip to that person will neever be the same,it may remain active but you would have lost something precious,I am very faithful in the way I love,but once trust is no longer part of this love,what remains is shallow and without value in my eyes and those who have been loved by me,know the difference.
A wall of ice surronds me from those who betray me and short of death nothing will erradicate that.
I don`t forget,but I forgive.
I am me and I have stopped asking for people to love and accept me for who I am,if they want they can be part of my life if they don`t I am far better of without them,that is the only undeniable truth.
From Manchester,UK,Cassandra for Protagonize.com