End Of all Innocense

Me,I was never one.

Innocnet ,I mean.

I always knew too much saw too much ,experienced too much to be one.

But my heart,what of my heart ?

To who I shelter my strenght ?

To whom I look for embrance ?

In who I roam ?


No one

And so another brick is laid in the foundation of this country where I habit alone.I see myself alone yet not lonely seeking something that lies before my open eyes and I am unable to ask for.

Why is that ?

Books can help you so much to improve lack of knowledge but where human contact is concern I am very ignorant and most times just unable to communicate with others.

I look for ways to avoid contact even with people  love.

I remenber the past,I look into my future and I see so much of what I seek and yet afraid to hold onto.

Afraid that it will bring more sorrow ,more disapointment,more of less of what I had hope it would be ?

All of the above.

In many ways I stopped living and in others I have reached a new level of detachment from human kind.

I have become  this empty shell of exactly what ?

I am a woman that knows what she likes,sexually speaking and I am not afraid to hold what I want or ask or even demand what I want ,but the hollow space that is left after sex with no felling makes me keep my clothes on more and more theses days.

I have met this man through words better left between me and him ,and I can actually say without doubt that I can see myself helping him in his daily private life.

So,be it.

I am cold inside.

I see myself at the end of my innocense and  whatever is left of it dies in his actions.








The End

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