There is this wall of silence I have built around me that only certains human beings are allowed to walk in unexpected or wanted.This breach of solitude is normally accepted gracefully and I am actually happy to welcome them in my own space.
This unique place where I reside in quietness is getting bigger.Not in space but my request for human company is the one decressing.
Not necessarily a bad thing! But not a good thing either !
I see myself relying more and more on myself,which is not unique if you happen to be me,but should I reach out to others ?
Do I want to ?
Sometimes the silence can be somehow heavy,but the presence of people I can relate to are far worst !
I read recently a book "The wife of the time traveller",don`t ask me by who,I know it is a women writer that is all I remenber of her.
But the book ! Oh,the book !
What can I say,the women can write,extremely well indeed.
There is a film out based on her writting skills,I have been told the film is quite good,somehow I already know I shall not go and see it,the story is so sad...
To sit and see him die is not something I want to do on a day out.
Not that I have many of those but today and tomorrow I am on my own,this time of silence and green park.
Of painting and visiting friends,singing happy birthday and paying bills.
Of applying for a grant and taking care of Mica and Lucas.
What two days of rest !!!
I am fine! I keep telling myself...
If only I happen to believe in myself maybe I would smile more..