Letter No.6 - Poem No.2Mature

Dear Crow,

I was trawling through things today, and I found something I think you'll remember. The thing that you made me show you because I had showed it to one of my friends and he told you about it.

So here goes, remember this?

Boy you have beautiful eyes,
Windows into your soul,
But the windows are shuttered and barred,
Lately I see you're losing control,

Hold your breath and jump,
Do not be afraid of falling down,
I'll always be there to catch you,
I'll always be around,

I'm not going to say I love you,
Because it isn't true,
I feel so much more that I cant describe,
And those words they just wont do,

Every colour imaginable,
In a blinding flash of light,
Hits me like a tidal wave,
Will I make it through tonight?

Your lips are touching my lips,
Your arms are around me,
There is no other place right now,
That I would rather be,

If you could see into my head,
You might be surprised,
But I'm still captivated by your
Beautiful eyes.

You know why I didn't want to show it to you? Because it screams 'falling for you' all the way through it. And I wasn't ready to tell you how much I truly cared about you. You were the one that said 'I love you' first. I was lying with my head on your chest down in your sister's house and we were just talking about random different things. Then I said "Tell me something I don't know about you."

And that started it. You took a deep breath and said "Em, something you don't know? Well.. I... god this is so hard for me to say this." I honestly didn't think it was going to be anything to do with us. I thought you were going to say something about your Mom. I know everytime you spoke about her your eyes burned with pain so that's actually the first thing that came into my mind when you started to speak.

But then your arms tightened around me and your voice echoed into the darkness and wrapped itself around me while I lay in shock. "I think I love you."

My stomach did a little flip flop and I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. I left you hanging for a moment as I tried to say it back. But I was so afraid. My mind screamed that I was heading down a one way street to heartbreak city.

I took a deep breath though and let my heart rule my head. Foolish. But I was only seventeen and I still believed in a perfect world.

I know that I'm only eighteen now, but you can grow up a lot in a year. And I grew up a hell of a lot. You helped me along the way, holding my hand when I needed comfort. Holding me up when I thought I would fall. You gave me hope. I thought you were the one that had saved me from stumbling down the wrong track. But now you've gone I realise that it was never you. It was me. I was the one that saved myself. But I saved myself because I thought that if I worked to build a future for myself that you would be there with me, holding my hand and smiling at the sun. I could have saved myself a whole heap of heartbreak if I had just lied and said that I wasn't sure I felt the same. But I didn't. I opened my mouth and I said the words you wanted to hear, the words I wanted to say. "I think I love you too."

Even still, I don't regret a moment of it.

Because I still love you.

Alli

The End

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