I never expected it to all happen so fast. I was recovering from a semi broken heart when I started talking to you and I was still trying to get over losing so many friends and people I held dear. I wasn't looking for anything special, neither of us were, we just wanted a bit of fun, but it all changed after that first day. That first spark of romance, the instant connection. I look back now and hate remembering it, but I'll never forget the butterflies when you looked at me.
Remember the second time we met? When things happened that neither of us regretted but both of us cringed afterwards and wondered would it be awkward the next time we met? Well I do...
It was a Thursday, funny that I remember it was a Thursday. We had first met on the Sunday before and now here we were again. I met you in town at the square again. I was sitting on one of the benches when you walked up and sat down beside me, stretching and putting your arm around my shoulders. 'Sooo.' you grinned and my heart did a funny little flip flop as I relaxed against you. 'Alright what are we going to do today?' I chuckled as I poked you in the ribs.
We went up to one of your friend's houses and sat in the kitchen talking for a bit. Then I went up to the bathroom and I when I stepped out again you were coming up the stairs. At first we just stood and looked at each other for a moment and then your hands were on my hips and your lips pressing against mine as we fell back against the wall. Everything was forgotten in that moment as we melted into each other. Yes it was too soon and I don't know about you but my brain was screaming at me, but my body didn't listen as it reacted to your every touch.
We stumbled out of the house about an hour later when we realised everyone had left. Funny how we seemed to just walk in and out of people's houses regardless of if they were there or not. I loved that about us though. The instant click, the fact that even though we weren't an official couple, we were labelled as one almost straight away. Neither of us could keep our hand's off each other for long, even if it was only an arm around the waist or a hand in a back pocket.
People looked at us and smiled as we walked down the street, completely oblivious in our own little world, your arm around me, or my hand in yours as we ran up and down steps and you chased me across the Tesco's car park and grabbed me around the waist swinging me around as I screamed with laughter.
That Thursday was probably one of the key factors in my impending addiction to you. I knew when I got home that night that I was falling, and I was falling hard.
Oh Crow, what have we come to? This is a crossroads in our lives where we either take the road that eventually leads us back to one another or we take the road that separates us even further. Right now as it is, we're walking on opposite sides of the road we're both on, and the only thing I'm thankful for is that it's so damn wide that you can't see the tears that start running down my face every single time I glance over at you.
They say time heals all wounds. I agree with that but I've tagged my own ending onto that statement.
Time heals all wounds, except the ones that kill you.
And hell, I'm not dead yet, no matter how empty I feel I'm still breathing, still walking, ok barely talking. But I'm still thinking, even if it is about you.
Time will heal, but I just don't know how much time I need. It could take forever.
But even when the pain goes away and you look at me and remember how things used to be, when you think I've moved on and that I've forgotten, I hope you realise how wrong you are.
Because I still love you.