19th May, Wednesday

Dear Grandad,

I'm sorry I haven't written for so long. A whole ten days. It's not that I forgot about you--not one bit. You were in my head the whole time. Oh, Grandad, I had a proper mental breakdown again. Sorry. It was a Maths lesson, too. I knew you wouldn't want me to be sad but I couldn't stop myself from crying; couldn't stop myself from being overcome.

I've been busy recently. That's why I haven't written. And yet I've not got any of the things I need to do done either. I guess that's the reason everything's going wrong and everything's falling apart. I just can't do this. I can't keep going like this.

I had a go at my computer the other day because it wouldn't work and it wouldn't do what I wanted it to do. I remember thinking that you never got involved with computers. You were wise. I never should have done, either. They're much more trouble than they're worth, in my opinion. Sure, there are some good things...but there are the bad things too.

Another thing that reminded me of you was the top I made. Do you remember last summer when I came to stay with you and Grandma and I was in that little outside room? And I was sewing that pencil case. I spent three days doing all the flowers. Well, I've started making clothes, and I made a top. I was trying to decide what embroidery I should add. I remembered what Grandma said about my embroidery style. It reminded me of you.

But I couldn't break down, not in front of Mum. Because then I'd have to explain and if there's one thing I hate it's explaining. So you see, you've not been out of my mind at all. If anything, you're more present now than you have ever been. Which is sad, and sort of depressing, but at least I know I'm not likely to forget you.

Of course I won't forget you. Who could ever forget you, Grandad?

The End

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