Imagine my surprise when I went home the next day, it was a lovely evening and I saw her name on my Facebook. I got a message from her. Was I excited? I will be honest here, I actually already forgotten who she was. She needed to remind me who she was by saying “Alex’s girlfriend.” We started having a chat…
Did you ever got a feeling that you found someone who totally understands you and shares the same sense of humour? That is what I got, it did hit me like a bullet being shot without me looking. I was sad for many months, bullied in school, working extra which was making me so tired and for the first time in some time I found myself smiling again. With real smile. No more pretending. Jokes started to be more inside jokes and talks more deep. She started to trust me and vice versa, I trusted her with trust that was later on broken so many times. Too many bloody times.
S was asking me to help her with troubles with her current boyfriend – Alex whom was my friend as well. So, of course I wanted to do something to make him and her better. Then it came time when those two did split up. Was I happy? No! What monster you want me to be, dear reader? She was more than sad, I want to hope she actually felt something towards my friend for real.
I can’t actually remember who said those 3 magical words first. I reckon it was her, when it comes to relationships I am really shy. I wouldn’t build a courage to tell her that. Little bit pathetic, I know. And it is just about to get more pathetic. We went out together first time. Waait… I went too fast with the story here. Let’s go just a little bit back.
I must mention that I used to run the library in my high school. Less money meant more cuts and therefore librarian that I adored was fired, she needed to become teaching assistant instead. All other brilliant (don’t you love sarcasm?) librarians stopped helping so I was like a lonely soldier against all school that basically, didn’t care about the library one bit. How does this has to do anything with her? She used to come around when I was working and spend some time with me just chatting. Having a laugh and just being my friend. And trust me, at the time I really needed that.
It was so weird, so new to have someone who you could say to “I love you”. Little thing, but it was keeping me smiling. Now I laugh, but that is when I started writing lyrics again and I started to dedicate them to her. I used to write her story of angel and boy being together – she was the angel and I was the boy. Who would guess she would become dark angel?
Looking back, I was a fool. Re reading all the conversations I had with her did hurt, even after all this time. Over a year and it is like a thorn in my heart. I gave her everything I could, my soul, my mind and most importantly – my heart. However, we didn’t even met while being in the relationship for a week and then she broke up with me for the first time. It wasn’t as bad because the relationship didn’t lasted long. But, this story was just about to begin.