I'd Forgotten.

I’d forgotten.


I never thought I would.  I couldn’t imagine myself becoming so completely overwhelmed by such trivial nonsense that I would forget. 


And now I sit here, heart racing and fingers quivering, because it all seems so foreign.  This action, this state of being, which had been a second nature to me, had fallen from my grasp.  I had once decided to dedicate my entire being to this and the idea that I had stopped trying (consciously or not) terrified me more than my words can express.


How could it all be so lost?

Will I ever be able to find it again?


I shouldn’t be so scared.  Why should I be afraid of the thing that once filled me with so much life?  When did confidence and passion fade to meekness and self-doubt? 


Even now, as I sit in my room staring out the window, I can feel the struggle waging on inside.  The terror and the exhilaration.  The fear that questions why I’m even returning to this?  Maybe I had fallen away because it was the universe’s gentle way of telling me ‘No’.  No, I wasn’t supposed to do this.  No, this isn’t what I had once thought it would be.














Of course.


Because this was never going to be easy.  If it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it.  

The End

1 comment about this work Feed