My Heart's FrustrationMature

For the past few days, I've been really annoyed with myself. Things like "Just get OVER this already, Cassandra!" or "I should NOT be struggling with this still!" have really been getting me down lately. 
I see my own shortcomings and curse myself for not being free of them.

My Heart's Frustration

Verse One
Just get over this already!
This shouldn't be so hard!
Just stop struggling already!
You're taking this too far!
Why is this so impossible?
Why can't I just be free?
I must be doing something wrong!
What's wrong with me?!

Chorus
Why am I still here, when I should be four steps ahead?
Why am I still chained, when "You're free!" is what He said?
Why am I still stuck in doubting, o me of little faith?
 Why am I so accepting of bondage as my fate?
To run and laugh and live again, free of self-deprecation
That's what I dream of, but it'll never be...
This is my heart's frustration.

Verse Two
Just get over yourself already!
Why am I still fettered?
Just stand and fight already!
 I ought to know better!
I have no control
I should know that by now
So why am I still begging
To control something, somehow?

 Chorus
Why am I still here, when I should be four steps ahead?
Why am I still chained, when "You're free!" is what He said?
Why am I still stuck in doubting, o me of little faith?
 Why am I so accepting of bondage as my fate?
To run and laugh and live again, free of self-deprecation
That's what I dream of, but it'll never be...
This is my heart's frustration.

Ending
This selfishness must stop; it must come to an end
Lest it drive away the compassion of my friends
Still, how could I ever deserve anything but condemnation?
This knowledge has become my heart's frustration. 

The End

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