I Owe You

Just to put things in perspective, y'know.

I Owe You

I still have the best friendship keychain she gave me, back when we were in middle school. "Best friends forever!" - that's what she said, giving me the unrealistic expectation that she was actually going to stay by my side, come what may. She didn't. Like so many others, she left me behind, and now - now, as I scroll through my Facebook newsfeed and see a status update of hers, I mentally shake a fist at the laptop screen and I whisper, "You stole a bit of happiness from me. You owe me."

I recall a time when I was folding laundry with my sister. For a moment, I sat back to re-braid my hair, when my sister exclaimed, "Come on! Keep helping me fold laundry - don't make me do all the work!" to which I replied, "When you were in rehab for three months, I folded all the laundry - don't you complain!" I was scolded, and aptly so (I still feel bad about that). But ultimately, I was speaking from the heart. You owe me.

And that one time when my friend couldn't find her money anywhere, so I bought her coffee drink for her. Later on, when we went out for coffee a second time, I half-expected her to pay for my drink. When she didn't, all I could think was, You owe me.

How about when I drove my friend twenty minutes out of town? It cost me about $4 of gasoline, you see. After that, I texted him to find out what the homework was for class that week, to which he responded that he didn't know. Infuriated, I fumed to myself, "After driving him all that way, the least he could've done was taken some time to check with the syllabus!" The underlying thought? You owe me.

Or when I was waitressing, and I - out of the kindness of my heart, you see - offered to give them the discount, when they didn't even ask for it. Do you know why I did that? So that they'd see how nice I was being and would increase the amount of my tip. I did a favor for them, and when they didn't give a generous tip, I shook my head and begrudgingly cleared off their dishes. You owe me.

There was also that time when I wrote my friend a long, beautiful letter in my best cursive, then waited for several weeks for a reply, before becoming completely disgruntled and realizing I would never receive one. After all the time I took, there was still no letter in the mail for me! You owe me!

You owe me for this! You owe me for that! All these things I do for everyone - they owe me so much! I give and give and give and give, and you owe me, and -

My eyes fall upon a nearby painting of Jesus, dying on the cross, bearing all my sins and performing an act of generosity I could never repay Him for.


The End

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