Run like the Gazelle
pounce like the tiger.
I have already revealed to you that I am, in fact, a quasi-ninja. Really, it's the sole reason Nick allowed me to become a moderator in the first place. Not only can I throw random objects expertly to smite my foes unseen, but I'm awesome at stalking. No, not that stalking, eejits. I mean the sneaking-up-on-people-and-ambushing-them-from-behind kind of stalking. It's what I do. Sometimes without realizing it.
It happens often with my room mates, usually by accident. One of them will be in the kitchen, minding his own business at the sink doing dishes or getting some milk out of the inappropriately small fridge we share. Usually I'll just be walking by, or waiting to get my own juice from said puny fridge, and always at the moment I am directly behind him, the room mate turns around. Often this results in spilt milk (which really is cried over. It's a very valuable commodity, y'know, especially the chocolate variety) or soapy water on the floor.
One time, though, I almost lost my life because of my inadvertent ninja-ing. See, the unfortunate room mate was chopping vegetables with my massive knife of awesome (I did mention my ability/tendency to throw random objects, right?) when I happened to walk past. I paused for a few seconds to look over his shoulder and to see what he was chopping. Bad move, Jack.
I probably yelled the same thing about half a second after he did, 'cause in his surprise he flailed a little, knife of awesome still in hand.
Note to self: wear tap shoes when in the kitchen.