Well, the other night...
I Made a Promise
Insecure, insecure, insecure. Failure, failure, failure. You'll never get it right.
Where's my purse?
Fake laughter - that's the spirit! Just...get...through...this...night...
People all around, yet you're so alone. Who were you kidding when you thought you'd fit in?
Quick...run up the stairs...
Adjust your smile and carry on. No sense clouding the evening with your pain.
There's my purse, on the bed.
Does anyone even see your pain? Probably not - your pain is fake.
There's got to be something sharp in here...
Breathe in, breathe out. Yes, that's right. Shrug aside the hurt.
A pencil sharpener...is that all I've got?
Replace pain with smiles. That's right, honey. You've got it. Just keep that damn smile plastered on your face.
I guess it'll do the trick...
Casually remove yourself from any physical contact. There you go.
Oh, God, help me!!!
Come on! Keep breathing in, keep breathing out. Don't lose it, not in front of all these people!
God help me, I just want to bleed!
There's no time for anxiety right now, you fool! Keep it all under control! You've got to act strong!
I can't do this. I promised God I wouldn't do this!
I didn't do it. I'd made a promise to God that I wouldn't self-harm anymore. I put the pencil sharpener back in my purse and sat there for awhile, practically shaking with the need to hurt. I found a pen in my purse and wrote something on my wrist - right where I'd wanted the blood to be. I slathered some lotion on my hands so I'd have an excuse to have gone upstairs.
I went back downstairs.
I sat back down with my friends.
On my wrist were the words "I MADE A PROMISE."
You can keep yours, too.