Jamie had made a few friends. It was part of the smarter group of kids. Also, it had made friends with the trouble makers of the school. Jamie was having issues thinking of itself as either male or female. Jamie was a person. The boys seemed odd--but it was not part of the girls group.
At home, it would start playing with its genitals. Mostly pushing the head inside the pelvis. Working to push the testicles back in and up. Jamie honestly had no idea what a woman's parts looked like. But hey--it could not be that different from this, right? His peepee was on the inside when he did this, and the balls were pushed inside--so it meant they were ovaries, right? I mean, that made total sense to Jamie's head.
It was also having issues dealing with home life. Its mom seemed to be getting rather stressed. Having a bigger desire to cause trouble it seemed. More agitated than ever. Its dad seemed angry, at it--for some reason Jamie's dad just felt more anger and dislike toward Jamie. Was Jamie not being a proper boy for its father? It is only until Jamie turned eighteen of course--to be polite. It lives in Mom's and Dad's house. It is only polite to follow their rules.
Both Mom and Dad had said, on several ocassions, "Once you move out, and get your own house, I do not care what the hell you do. Do anything for all I care! While you are here, you follow my rules!"
Jamie groaned--not enjoying how this was turning out. It was a trouble maker now--not fitting in, and seeming to do things in a completely wrong fashion. No matter what it tried to do.
Jamie had gotten put into Mrs. Burren's Class. The most strictest teacher in their school. Due to the year Jamie was in, it seemed that grade would have two classes, and one split with the year above it. Jamie had entered into a Grade 3/4 Split class.
Of course Jamie had its friends. Mike and Matt. Well, it never seemed to get along with Mike. Though, Mike was friends with Matt, and Jamie really did not have any desire to tell Matt he was not to talk to Mike--as that would end with Matt saying, "screw you Jamie"--that is if Jamie ever got the notion to think it was Its place to tell who Matt could and could not talk to.
Matt, Mike and Jamie would walk home from school together, often through farmers fields, swamps and really anything. Ocassionally with Mike's two older brothers Tom and ol' whats his face. Most of the time, however, it was just Jamie, Mike and Matt.
Often talking about various items that seemed cool. With plenty of pretending. One time, they were knights of the old. They had stopped to drink water from a puddle, Mike offers the advice, "you know, thirteen out of fourteen knights would get very sick drinking water, because it was not clean."
Jamie considered how there were water treatment plants these days, and about the few times Mom had to boil tap water, as otherwise it was unsafe to drink. "Yeah--they'd have to boil it, to have it be safe."
Mike stands tall, "you know--Becky has been wearing bras lately. She appears to have been growing boobs." Mike goes off about Becky and various ways she had developed.
Jamie's face twinges. Matt keeps walking, but Mike notices something, "what is wrong?"
Jamie getting all flustered--his peepee had gotten rock hard. It never felt good. He had issues imagining any worse pain. It was okay, for maybe a minute--but then the pain just got horribly huge. "Uh--down there... it has gotten hard."
Jamie was glad it had started taking to wearing sweat pants. The only thing more painful than getting hard for two or more minutes was getting hard in a restrictive pair of pants. Mike's eyebrow lifts, "what?"
Jamie, kind of squirming--as this hurt. It really did, "when I think about people I really like, it gets hard. Becky, Daniel, Tom, Mrs. Shymko, Richard--I have to relax to have it go down... as it hurts. The longer I leave it--the more painful it hurts."
Mike hurrumphs, turns around and begins to walk to Matt, who had stopped, "I am jealous. I wish I could do that!"
Jamie just looks at Mike like he was the most crazy person Jamie had ever known, "what? Do you know how much it hurts?!"
Mike just says the cryptic odd statement, "it is suppose to be a good thing to be able to do that."
Mike and Matt start to feel a bit sick in the stomach, Jamie still walking around. Having at least stopped talking about people Jamie thinks are pretty neat, Jamie ends up not getting as much pain coming from down there. Matt mentions, "ooh, I think Jamie is the fourteenth knight."
Mrs. Burren was a tough as nails teacher. Not so much scary, just everything needed to be exact. Extremely exact. Mrs. Burren was one of the teachers that started yelling at her students that yes, sound does indeed travel around corners. That if her students start to make noise directly after she goes out and turns the corner, that she can hear it. I was not certain how many of them really cared though.
They did not like the notion of just sitting their quietly. They wanted to talk to their friends. Socialise and play. Yeah, work still got done--but the notion of doing it quietly was fairly repugnant. To be fair, class of seven, eight and nine year olds being quiet is a very unnatural idea. Very creepy really. Horror movie levels of creepy.
Jamie was wanting to accel and do well--but Jamie also did not like how it was suppose to do this. Trying to learn this way got boring and dull after a while. Usually being bored got it into a mischievous mood. What trouble could Jamie cause when really really bored? Luckily Mrs. Burren had some play time classes.
These were mostly whe she had gone off to teach the Grade 4 kids, and did not have an assignment to tell the Grade 3 kids to work on while doing it. These were little cards with puzzles on them to be solved, or at least figured out. Once one ws done, you got another one. Naturally, Jamie was in the race to finish them first. Jamie placed in Third. Alan got first, Bohdan got second.
Mind you. Jamie did do enough trouble to have its desk put aside as the trouble student. Mostly so that it could be watched. Jamie was a trouble maker--at least where its desk was place, Jamie was not able to cause trouble. Not able to cause as much trouble. In this year, Jamie got to play on the other side of the school grounds. One side had grade one and grade two kids playing. This other side had Grade three and Grade four kids.
Some of the Grade four kids had found some ripped up shreds of skin magazines. Since there was a major road near the school, it was simple to just troll the ditch for some cool stuff. Apparently, the older kids had found torn porn in the ditch. Just small scraps from the ads in the back. Mostly for 1900 numbers and expensive videos. Jamie did not bother noting the numbers--it honestly doubted its parents would be okay paying to dial a 1900 number. Its parents were stingy like that--if anything cost money to get usually it was a big no, to doing it.
Apparently, Mike must have told his older brothers about Jamie's little painful issue. As they started sharing images, asking which ones Jamie liked. This was also when it seemed they had started asking Jamie to hand around. Jamie said sure--if Mike was okay with him being around. As Jamie was technically Mike's friend. As Mike was closer to Jamie's age than Tom.
They showed a few pictures that Jamie had no idea what was going on. It was kind of confusing. Large round mounds that sometimes had black dots over the centers--or a back dot directly in the middle. Then there were ones of spread legs with black dot making it legs and a dot. Jamie felt himself get hard. The last few weeks and months had him able to build up a pain tolerance--allowing him to have it up for nearly fourty five minutes before the pain got to be too much for him to bare.
Apparently it was a contest for how long one could keep it up, or something.
Jamie did note see seemed to like the ones of the girls putting that long weird thing with a black dot on the end into their mouth the most interesting. Mike and Tom's older brother, ol' whatshisface laughed and pulled out another picture, with Tom seeing what he was doing told him to put that back. Jamie did not need to see that. Jamie did not need to be scared from porn forever.
"Hey, why not let me decide. Most of these seem rather--silly. they are mostly black dots. I cannot tell what is going on."
Tom turns his head, "oh, no--this one is just horrible to look at. You... you do not want to see this."
Tom looks back at ol'whatshisface irritatedly. Jamie gets up, fists on her hips, "look! I am not some stupid kid! I can be much more smart and mature than the others! I am not going to get scared from something like some small child!"
Tom lets ol'whatshisface hand me the picture. The long thick puzzling flesh rod thing was in this one--but it has a man sucking it instead of a girl. "Yeah--this one is not bad. The boy looks a bit prettied up--but it looks nice, I guess. Why did you think it be horrifying."
Tom and ol'whatshisface seemed a bit disturbed. They looked at their images and started doing stuff--telling Jamie it could not be near while they did it. They had taken the round mound pictures with black dots in the centres with them. Jamie did offer to return these new pictures with guys--they were not interested... Jamie really could not doing anything with it. Tom told ol'whatshisface, "actually, it is best if Jamie does not have those. What if he gets caught with them on him?"
At which point ol'whatshisface took them back.
The year would have been 1993, when this happened. So keep in mind, just the fact ol'whatshisface had this on his person--if only for shock value (which is what it seemed to be)--was risky enough.
Though, creepiness aside, it was at this point, it seems Tom and ol'whatshisface seemed to work to be more protective of Jamie. Generally bothering people that picked on Jamie--even when Jamie would tell them it was her own fault... they were more than prepared to mention what the other party's faults were.
James was pretty sure this was when she started getting invited to more stuff at their house. Because Jamie was Mike's friend--but it seemed Mike did not seem to agree. Mike would make comments about being forced. With his parents saying that it was Mike's idea. With Tom and ol'whatshisface to frown at him a lot. With Tom and ol'whatshisface telling Jamie to duck away, and not talk to their dad. As apparently Mike's dad was a scary person who did not like people like Jamie.
Well--I guess some Dads do not like a lot children around. Yeah--Jamie was bit smarter, she still had her annoying traits. So, I guess hiding from him was a good idea, maybe? Tom and ol'whatshisface did mention Jamie had a few very annoying traits their dad would not like.
I dunno, looking at this, I have to wonder if what I think happened was Tom telling Mike that he HAD to be friends with the gay kid. I can nearly see Mike going, "but I don't want to be friends with him."
"Look, we will make your life a living hell, if you are not friends with the gay kid!"
If it were only as simple as James being gay. It should be noted that a few other of the older boys did start to get very protective of Jamie. Most of these were the ones that would move out of this town. Usually with something about a spat between their parents and the son. A form of really really angry argument. James usually lost contact.
Nobody really told Jamie what the fight was about--other than it was just really serious. Jamie was told, "it was adult stuff you would not understand."
There was even one time, that two older boys had hung out with Jamie--and based on her description of what they told her, they appeared to have been describing certain items about STIs, using wheat plants to try to describe it. Jamie admits she had no idea what it was they were going on about. One of the two boys, had one of those arguments that night with his father. Though--these occurances were more in Jamie's grade four year--they are more tied to the events of grade three.
Grade three also added a teasing name for Jamie that irritated her for no end. One very popular to the older kids. They had started calling her "Jamie Payne... IN THE BUTT!". It was only the older kids--and Jamie knew it was a very bad thing from how they said it. The kids would make motions of what Jamie thought was kicking happening.
Jamie knew it was bad--but only registered it as she was just really, really annoying. Thus the name.
To make things worse--apparently the only person in the school worse than her, had transfered to Jamie's school this year. Amber Rollheiser. It was mostly kids in her class--none of the older kids. Apparently, she picked her nose, was over weight and a few other items that made her a target for teasing.
Apparently, being fat for girls was a bad thing. Jamie went along--but never really got that part. Jamie liked a few of the over weight girls. They were fairly good people. Though, Jamie knew that they would never straighten up, unless they were teased--or something. Apparently teasing fat people made them less fat. Well, Jamie would do his best to conform--and be a good person--why not help them along.
Jamie still makes a stomach churning face, as one day her longest friend--the one whose party had started the tiff between Jamie and Dawn for giving the same gave--was outside playing dolls by herself. She was fairly overweight. The other kids snickered--good, Jamie could score points by calling her fat. Maybe Jamie could get up from the second lowest rung on the social ladder? Also, make fun of the fact she is playing Barbies. Not something older kids do. Only younger kids play with Barbies.
Jamie's stomach churns, as Sarah sat there, almost hiding, without a friend, and the Barbies appeared to not have any clothing. Jamie only kept teasing, as it allowed her to forget how much seeing Sarah like that stung. "Why was she hiding there? Why were her dolls naked? Why did it look like she had been crying?"