I sit down at the piano with sheet music. Wanting to play, needing to play all of the emotions out of my being. But I hesitate, all of the pieces that I know, that I hvae burned into my brain and fingers, are almost completly gone. Only whisps of what once was there, now nothing more then tiny bits of blue cotton candy.
I struggle to remember the cords and notes. But all I manage to get out are the first part of a few songs. But other then that, nothing. I start to grow angery. How could this happen.? After all of the pain, sweet, and more then a large glass full of tears, everything that I've worked for...is gone.
Oh how it torments me so. I feel as if part of my soul is gone. My identity, my being is gone.
I sit and stair at the black and white keys in frustration. I use every brain cell I have to remember a song. Any song. And finally, after a few minutes of consentraiting, I feel something click. I quickly start to play, and when I do, a small piece of happyness comes over me. I remember a song!My heart jumps for joy.
After I finnish playing the song confusion and even anger washes over me.
The song I had just played only lasted a couple of minutes long, and it was just the same cords that are played over and over for a total amount of seven times. And not only that, that song I played only took me an hour, a day at the most, to learn.
Unlike the songs that I've had to cut, smash, grind and eventualy polished that took over three gruling months to learn. Songs like, "Memory" from the musical Cats, and "My Heart Will Go On" from the movie Titanic. I feel tears crawling up to my eyes from the feeling that life isn't fair.
Why? I ask myself, as I shove the tears back down into my heart. Why did that song have to come up? I reach over the keys and pull down the lid. Closing the piano and I relise that I must find each of the piano sheets to the songs I have almost completly lost. And also,
If Life was fair, frogs would get to eat our legs some times.