One thing straight- I'm not.Mature

I'm not by any standard known on this website, so this isn't really coming out if there's no one I really know here. I just wanted to rant.

I think I've always known. I didn't know there was a name for it. In year 4, which seems a bit young to be interested in relationships, there was this fashion in my class to carry out pointless surveys. One question was "Who do you like?" There was "boys" and "girls". I made a separate box marked "X". Back then, no one thought twice about it.

Five years later, it was very different. I'd told everyone I was asexual when trying to get the boy stalking me to go away. Let's call him Voldemort for now. It became known, and maybe it was ignorance or maybe I'm just not liked. If I was popular I wonder if they'd have been supportive. The only use of that word was in biology lesson. 

"Charlie why don't you go and photosynthesize?"

"Can you clone yourself?"

"Why are you depriving yourself?"

"That must be a really boring existence."

"It's impossible for a human to be asexual."

And the worst, "Don't worry, you'll find a wonderful guy and he'll fix you."

These are people my age. They should be the most open minded people I know. Which is why my family don't know. They don't even acknowledge bisexuality! My sister insists I get married and have kids, my grandparents read the Daily Mail. I've grown withdrawn, uneasy around them. My parents have noticed and ask why I'm not the same. 

Oh and then, there's romantic orientation. It's a grey area for me. I think I'm more attracted to my own gender (I'm not even sure of my gender?) but I have had crushes/squishes (a platonic crush) on boys. I would call myself grey-biromantic asexual.

Well, yes, my self esteem is lowered, but I wouldn't wish to be straight even if it meant I could be a millionaire. You're the problem, bigots. The uninformed teenagers who think I'm broken. Voldemort the creepy stalker who's made my life as difficult as possible. The mainstream LGBTQIAP+ activists who ignore all but the G and sometimes the L. Those who claim the 'A' for 'ally' like you didn't already have enough visibility. I refuse to think I'm broken. I am wonderful and so much greater than you bigots, I will force you all to notice me.

I am brilliant and I deserve to love myself.


The End

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