[I have just edited out three paragraphs of moaning but I realised that, although they were rants, this is the one that I think is important to become public.]
Ok, I've no idea if I should be ranting here. -_- This feels like it's going to be the worst mistake I've ever made. ): It says that it's a place for everyone to rant but, like every other thing I do, I'm unsure of whether it's the correct thing to do.
About a month ago, I made some amazing friends in the year above me who welcomed me with open arms. They are kind, generous and they make me want to spread the love. They may not think that they've done a lot, they have truly changed my life for the better.
Although I am eternally grateful for the friendship of my 11s, I still have to get used to being new. They have their own conversations and they laugh together however, (unlike my year) they have the atmosphere of welcoming. That was a rubbish way to put it (my terrible English skills at work). If I asked what they were talking about, they wouldn't EVER sigh irritably or tell me to p*** off (like my year). They would tell me what it was and include me because, I guess, they are the most loving group of people I've ever been around.
They only downside to this group is that, aside from being a noob and being naive, this group is where my ex came to after we broke up. I won't say what happened because that opens old wounds that the group healed for me. However, when we were just friends (I can't really remember many times when we were just friends) he was so open; so kind; so confident and I could talk to him. He was like the best guy friend I never had before. Then he asked me out. I thought we were at the top of the world (well that's teenaged emotions for you). Then he dumped me. :-o Harsh I know but I do know that his feeling changed and I respect that fully. I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO GO BACK TO HOW WE WERE BEFORE. D': The days when we talked and laughed together; when we could look each other in the eyes; when we were stuck like glue XxXx. If he ever reads this-which I doubt he will (again, I'm not sure if I want him to)- I just want him to know how I feel.
Please don't worry; I don't love you in that way. I love you in a relaxed-friendship way. I hope you understand.