The Edge I can't brush offMature

I wonder when will I stop feeling on edge and finally relax. I am young yet I have a million things running through my mind all at one time! Perhaps not even 60 year olds worry as much as I! I am most likely to get a stress related disease, but the way I look at it is we will all die and I am not just over working mysefl for the hell of it but to achieve this relaxation I have not been able to feel for permanent times.

I imagine it must feel serene, great and fascinating! Exhilerating maybe!

One day when I could afford it all, when I will stop being afraid of commitment and love. Of trusting those who have earned it and disreguarding those who never deserved it. Maybe one day I could relax like the day I felt when I first learned to ice skate and first thought that my greatest serious relationship and I would stay together forever. Before I had given up the idea that love was intangible.

It must feel great.

Not having the constant strain in your neck and tight breathing. Not worried if tomorrow I will get screwed over by someone unexpected.

I only dream of traveling and cruising and loving and choosing and living in a comfortable home hosting karaoke parties on thanks giving. Loosen up with a drink of semi expensive sweet wine. Of owning millions of pictures that dont even begin to explain how greatly I have lived life out.

Only then I think will I be able to take the weight off my shoulders.

Writing my passion and sanity on each page, Its therapy and the greatest advice I can offer someone with a pen and paper.

Just hoping as you scribble every word down, hope as fiery and determined you feel in your heart. How hopeless and in love. That your writing is legible so you can read it and remind yourself how far you have gone in life.

We do sometimes tend to forget that.


The End

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