well it is official. He is never speaking to me again, I screwed everything up. We had something good going, I know it. We got along so well, we had so much in common, and yet I screwed it up.
I was just getting to know him. and that is not going to happen anymore. I so badly wanted to know him and go on dates with him... he is so smart, and funny. He is so thoughtful and amazing. he is a little nerdy, wears glasses, just awesome. everything I wanted.. He is not ignorant to the realities of the world.. he loves to read, just like me. he is so honest, and I screwed it all up.
When he did respond to my message though, I felt no satisfaction, I felt far worse. much much worse. He said that I creeped him out and he is not going to talk to me again. It hurt like heck, he deserves so much better.
when I first looked at his profile he said no relationships or possible relationships with a girl have worked out in the last year. I thought maybe I could change that, but I couldn't. I screwed up so bad and now I am paying the consequences. I did not know him for long, but I feel so sad.
I replied to his response, acting like I don't care. telling him to have a nice life. the truth is I DO care, I care so much... I feel like we had a great connection, but stupid me had to destroy it.
I do not know how long it will take to get over him. I suppose that I will just forget about him after awhile, he deleted me from facebook and from the website I met him on. it makes me so sad that I am going to forget him, I don't want to forget such an amazing guy. but what choice do I have? I can't keep mourning for something that is never going to happen.
thanks for listening to my pathetic rant.
lots of love,