All My FaultMature

I met this guy online and we get along so well! he is super cute, smart, funny, and just amazing. I met him a week ago and I like him so much, I think he kind of likes me too, at least he did.

I get paranoid very easily.. I IM him alot, like every time he gets online I IM him. I asked him if it annoyed him, the fact that I IM him so much. He told me that I do not IM him too much. 

well I brought it up a few more times, he said no. today I got on facebook and it seemed like everytime I got on he would sign out. I figured he really did not want to talk and he was avoiding me. apparently he was at work... anyways...

I posted this status saying I wish how he would just come out and say how annoying it is and that he should stop lying, well he saw it and said that I was not annoying him with the IMs, but the accusations of him ignoring me were annoying. So I apologized to him, told him how sorry I was, and that I can get a little paranoid, he said he understood.

so I thought that everything was fine and dandy, come to find out, it wasn't. you know it is bad when the other person says "we need to talk" and you are not even going out with the guy. he told me that we should not hang out because it seemed like I was too clingy. I told him it would not happen again, I begged him, pleaded with him. I asked if there was a way I could redeem myself, show him that if we were to go out I would not be desperate and clingy, but there was not. every time I asked gim he said "I never said we can't talk" which means that there is no second chance and that I blew it.

we got along so well, I was almost certain that we were going to go out some time. this amazing guy..  but thanks to me we are never going to hang out. thanks to one stupid mistake we will never go out. it is all my fault. 

it has never been my fault before and I have to say that it really sucks. to think you could have had something great, but then you had to destroy it, to think it could have been amazing,

it is so hard to deal with, hopefully he WILL give me a second chance at some point, we are still talking. 

this is my rant,


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