a long time ago a boy broke my heart and stepped all over it. it was not THAT long ago, about two years ago. he lied to me and told me he loved me when he really did not, and I loved him with all my heart.

he was just trying to use me and it hurt a lot. we broke up and I was devastated, and I still get sad over it sometimes, over what was lost, over the time I wasted.

Every time I get close to not being sad about him whenever I think about him he pops into my head, letting me know "hey! over here! yea, you are not over me. I still make you cry" and he does, and it hurts so much. 

I am so sick of him, I want him out of my life, forever. I wish I could forget he exists, it would be so much more easier, it would be amazing if I forgot who he was, that is not possible though. 

he is holding me back from living my life, I broke up with the guy after him for like a day because I thought I was still in love with my ex. poor AH was confused and did not even know about this guy and all of the stuff I was going through. I felt so horrible about it, I realized my mistake and we got back together for about a month.

I cannot like a guy though without thinking of him and I hate it. I want to hate HIM, it would be so much more easier, but I cannot hate him. it is not his fault. I am so pissed off at myself because I got too attached and when it was over I could not deal with the situation. I was devastated, distraught, melancholy, broken. all of those things and so many more. 

I do not know how long it will take to get over him for good, I am not sure I ever will, but I wish I could. 

The End

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