Recently I've been feeling really stressed and really lonely. Because of this, I've also been really tired. All my friends ("friends") tell me their problems and I get really stressed and then I stay up all night being stressed.
So first off, one of my best friends is the type of person who never learns from relationship so she's always being hurt, she says she'll never trust a guy again and she'll stay single for a while. An hour later she has plans to meet up with another guy who likes her. She had a massive fight with her boyfriend and it worried me. Apparently, since then he's started doing drugs...
Then there's another who's on this site so I won't give too much away but she's been "kicked out of home." I'm constantly worrying about this but she wouldn't care because I also recently got proof that she severly dislikes me. Byebye :)
This is the same girl who hate rated me once. She was my friend, then I felt like I could never trust her again after she was extremly rude to me and another close friend. Recnelty she's been... two-faced.
Another problem is people at school. Two of my best friends (both girls) are going out. People keep telling me how weird they think it is and that it's wrong lalala. I don't like people bitching about my "best friends" to me. Homosexuality is a part of the world thank you very much society.
I am completely sure that all these "friends" don't like me.
If you've read the previous chapter you'll know the next reason why I'm so stressed. BasilWoodall is my best friend. She's the best thing in the world. She's my cousin but she's like my sister, my mother, my daughter, my best friend.. She's the reason I'm still alive. And now I know about this thing that's hurting her and has been for some time I worry. I can't help it, that's me.
My other best friend is planning to fight his best friend who has a crush on someone's a drug addict to prove a point. Of course I'd worry about that.
On top of all this, when the stresss was at it's peak I hadn't seen my step-mum for a week and didn't even know if she was still living with us.
I worry too much about people who don't care enough about me. Most of them aren't even real friends, they're just there because I'm trying too hard to keep them. They don't care about your freidnship at all, it's me doing all the work. if you've read some of my poetry, you'll know how depressed and lonely I sometimes feel. This is a different feeling, it's like quitting. I'm empty. I'm done here, I'm going to move on. I've dreamed of moving on from this for so long, I'm happy I can finally do it, but sa thinking about the happy times I can leave behind. It's sad how most of my friends are clinically depressed and they manage to be ahppier than I could ever be.
I just had to tell someone, a real person. It's nice to finally be heard by someone who cares. Thank you for your time.