Does it Matter?Mature

Tuesday.

.

I really look forward to the days we spend together. We're going to talk about... what was it? Something about your now-exgirlfriend.

I'll admit. I'm glad. I didn't want to meet her. I didn't want to know her. I'm glad. If I met her, I would have died even more on the inside.  Seeing this girl who held the guy I can't stop thinking about.

.

I had a dream. Did I tell you? Of course not. I can't tell you anything.

Except for everything.

It doesn't matter.

Nevermind.

.

I'm going to give it a few days. A week. Or just forever.

Or never.

It doesn't matter.

.

I'm going to grow the balls. Why not? A girl can have balls. Not physically, but sure, mentally, I'll have the biggest balls ever.  Bigger than some freakin' double-D boobs.

And I'll use my balls to tell you how I feel.

I lost my first chance. So I'll time myself. If I feel competition, I'll try not to be intimidated.  I'm just a girl who's gonna grow some big, wimpy balls.

No prob.

I got this.

.

Honestly, I just don't know.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, I say that too much, don't I?

I'll shut up now.

See you Tuesday.