I want to even out my conscience to you. I want to make up my mistakes and prove our friendship worthy to maintain. I want to fix what went wrong. I want to keep the best friend I ever had, as a friend.
But you are in so much pain, and I want to make you happy. I'll let you walk all over me to find what you want. What I'm not OK with, is you are trapping me by doing that. You have her as your new opportunity, and I want to take the dilemma off your chest and just run you to her so you can be happy. But because I am near, I am causing you to stick with me. I want you to be happy, I want you to find what you want. If I stay I prevent you from your freedom and my guilt would never allow that. If I go I abandon you in a time of need. A best friend is always there for the other, and I could never do that.
I want to give you the world so you smile. Tell me what you want.
But I am afraid to ask you. Not for fear you will push me away, but for fear this question will only make your pain deeper. You like to take my pain as your pain. I want you to solve your pain, and I will be the cheerleader. I trust you and support you in your choice. Please, find your smile. Glow again.