I very much dislike everything right now. I've finally figured most of my crap out, and now, life decides, 'I'm just going to be really mean'.
Because guess what? I'm apparently bisexual & asexual. I hate you too, life.
So. This is my dumping ground for my frustration.
Because guess what? I've categorized myself as bisexual for a while now, because I find myself getting crushes and other stuff on both boys and girls.
But now, (because apparently the world likes to screw with me) I've discovered that I'm probably asexual.
I've always agreed with the 'attracted to boys and girls' part of being bisexual, but it's always just been that I find them aesthetically attractive. Not actually being attracted attracted.
I've always tried to shove myself into the role of who I'm supposed to be in this society. I've only recently decided that I don't need to do that anymore.
I'm okay with who I am, even if it means revising my labels a little when needed.
So I recently found the term 'asexual'. I looked it up and went 'HOLY SH** THAT'S ME.'
And cue the beginning of the not-so-midlife crisis.
So what I'm doing is using both the terms asexual and bisexual. Because I fit both (theoretically).
I've always found the idea of being physically intimate with someone weird/repulsive/scary.
I'm not sure if that ties in with the fact that I'm pretty sure I have some mild degree of gamophobia, or what...
But anyways. Welcome to my discovery that your definition of yourself is always being revised. Life just seems to hate me sometimes.