Random Ramblings.

Screw it, taking risks is what life's all about.

I feel like rambling poetry
I felt this was the best place
To bullsh*t my way through madness of rhyme
And actually show my face

'Cause in that messy book of my heart
I've forgotten quite what's real
I don't know what is about me
Whether it is what I feel

So here I am, rambling on
Letting you know what is true
Well.. sort of I guess, I'll use no names
Probably just over-use the word 'you'

So lets start with the new guy on the block
For the sake of this I'll call him Haz
(That's actually his real name..
I'm not unsubtly talking about Gareth- Gaz)

A lovely sweet boy my new friend is
Autistic with problems everywhere
I forget it all now but honestly,
The least of them is his ginger hair

His OCD caused him to trace with his hand
Autism caused him to cuddle
And weariness is what had him talking
As though he was completely 'confuddled'

It was nice having someone so close to me
I think I've missed that the most
Because in my past I've had such epic hugs..
Not that I'm trying to boast...

But honestly, I would see him what once a week?
Twice maybe, if I push a bit
And all of this anyway, I'm making it up
I was "hot" and "sexy" but that is it

Yeah, sleeping on me and all that jazz
It's great but what does that mean?
He was flipping tired, it was nearly midnight
Taking something from that is just obscene.

Now, moving on we've got this boy
Who claimed that he "loves" me
Yet then he turns round and he's given up
Does that make sense? Well.. let me see

For a start, feelings like that don't just 'disappear'
Like... three of you boys seem to think
And I'm not saying I want you to want me
But frankly, your logic stinks.

I'll just leave those three who don't love  me alone
For that's there choice and that's okay
Really it makes my life easier
In.. almost every way..

So, carrying on through my slutty life
We have... oh, my dearest James.
Who hadn't seen me for seven weeks
And honestly, that was a shame.

In response to this he wanted to hug me
For pretty much the whole night
But sitting on his lap got irritating
And I ended up putting up a fight.

So he tickled me, naturally.
And I think I bit his hand..
He didn't leave me alone after that mind you..
Which wasn't really as I planned.

That was when I met the ginger kid
Haz, who I mentioned before
So while James was fighting for my attention
I was trying to keep Harry from ~snore~

New guys new guys all the time
To be honest, I'd quite like to settle..
But then I say that all the time
And get restless - I'm no lovely petal

Someone will walk into my life
And I'll just think to myself
Maybe this guy will mean something
The whole.. "Through sickness and in health"

But thinking back I don't recall
A time where it has gone right
When it was truly about love
That word becomes my relationships' blight.

 I can't count on my hand the people I have
Said the words I love you to
And meant it like that when I've said it just then
Until I end up finding somebody new...

I think I said Laura had opened my heart
To all the love that I'm missing
But truly I think she's just ripped it apart
To find that there's nothing within

---

But then.. there's a cat with his paws in my chest
Purring his way through my soul
I'm probably just being stupid but..
Well.. two parents make a family whole.

The End

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