I want to fight. I don’t want the easy road, I want freedom. Freedom from myself. I am my own abuser, I suffer at my own hands and no one else’s. How I respond to things is my decision and I MUST take responsibility for my sins and actions and thoughts. They are mine and no one else’s and the state they are currently in is my fault/doing entirely.
But I, with God’s help, will win this fight. I cannot do it without Him, and sooner or later I’m going to have to admit that I need others as well.