I can’t ever go back to starvation. 1). because I no longer possess the ability and 2). because I know too much. When it all started at first, I had no idea why I was doing what I was doing. But now I know. And I know it will never satisfy, never lead to peace. I’ve heard too many stories. If I went back, it would be a conscious decision, not a blind fall like it was in the beginning.