I started this about a month ago and finished it today. Here it is, my letter from Ana:
Since you can’t seem to get me out of your mind, I thought I would write and explain a few things.
My standards are very high. I require utmost diligence and unwavering devotion from my girls, no matter what the cost. I demand perfection in its truest form… I’ll leave you to imagine what that is.
Now about you –
We haven’t been acquainted for long, not even a year yet to be exact. You were a rebellious girl from the very beginning, going off and telling someone you hadn’t been eating. Brilliant move, Carmen! You broke the sacred code of silence within the first week. I backed away then, knowing you weren’t ready for me.
The real beginning of our relationship started at camp. Of course, you were rather clueless and didn’t know how to act around me, but you found that you liked me. Not only that, but you began to see how much you needed me. Yes, I made you feel set apart and unique, worth something to bother about. I made YOU become visible.
However, instead of waiting for me to make our relationship obvious to everyone, you again broke silence. “Somehow” your parent became aware of our developing friendship. You stupid girl! What you didn’t know was that every time you had the audacity to speak you put our friendship into danger and jeopardized the entire plan. You know that now of course, when it’s too late.
Yes, it’s too late now, you fat pig. Last semester you sort of got the hang of it, with the lying and purging and exercising and all. But then you lost it. And now look at you!! I think you and I both know that you’re just a hopeless case, incapable of doing the simplest task: perfecting yourself through starvation.
So long, Carmen. Don’t bother yourself with weighing and measuring, you know you don’t have what it takes to meet my standards.
I don’t care! I don’t need Ana! I’m special and unique without her, just because God made me! He loves me the way He created me! And God is a beautiful Savior, full of mercy and grace.