Tuesday, May 24th, 2011Mature

“Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding JOY, To Him, God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever!!  AMEN!!!” (Jude 24-25).  Those are the two most wonderful verses in the Bible!


            I know too much to have a real ED.  My knowledge of it all keeps me from throwing myself over that cliff.  Yet at the same time it’s there, though it doesn’t manifest itself in my weight or in my eating.  I hate this.  I think about food so often…

            Losing weight is bad, gaining weight is bad.  Eating too little is bad, eating too much is bad.  I guess it’s just between which of the choices are worse.  And that’s where purging comes in.

            I feel nothing.  I wish I could cut myself without feeling guilt and without knowing it’s wrong.  I just want to feel something.  I want to hurt myself.

The End

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