It’s my fault. Don’t even think of starting to play the blame game. I could get out of this if I just stopped trying to try so hard… or something. Just trust God. Believe Him. Believing is acting. Start preparing for rain. STOP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING (or NOT doing… I’m not sure which it is). Just, just… I don’t know.
If this is life, I’m finished. I don’t want to live. But I have to ‘cause I can’t waste this life God has given me. Even if this is it, I have to live it out.
Thing is, I know this isn’t it. Jesus came so that I, me, Carmen, can have life more abundantly. I believe and praise Him for that…