What am I gaining from my eating disorder? …besides weight I mean. : ) I don’t even know. For some DUMB reason I get everything so screwed around in my mind that the objective is maintaining the eating disorder as opposed to abandoning it. Hellooo, that’s the opposite of what you should be thinking, you idiot!! If your eating disorder were real, you would want to escape and you wouldn’t try to keep yourself here. Oh my gosh, how perfectly stupid! AND if your ED were real, you wouldn’t be thinking about it all the time or analyzing your behaviors or trying to act more disordered. Am I making it all up? Do I really have a problem or is it all in my head? I’m pretty sure it’s all in my head ‘cause otherwise I might actually be thin.