Tuesday, February 15th, 2011Mature

I don’t have an eating disorder.  Bottom line.  I’m not good enough for anorexia.  Or bulimia for that matter.  Or even an EDNOS…

            I wish I were sick.  Then I would have something from which to get better.  I would have a reason.

            I, I, I!!!  I HATE my selfishness!!!  It’s the most atrocious thing!!

            No excuse, no excuse, no excuse.  No reason for this unacceptable behavior, or lack thereof.  No excuse whatsoever.

            I’m not even a real cutter.  I’m nothing.  No excuse for thinking such lies.  Kill me.  Kill me.  Kill me, please.  Just kill me.  I don’t have what it takes to starve myself.  Ana won’t have me; I’m not good enough.

            Screwed thinking.  Unintelligible thoughts.  Lies.  No excuse.  Wasted help.  No excuse.  Bound to give an answer to Him someday.  No excuse.  None at all.  Disobedience.  Gluttony.  Slothfulness.  Laziness.  No excuse.  Living in defeat.  No excuse.  Not feeling anymore, not caring.  No excuse… none.

The End

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