I’ve gotta stop. I have to break. I feel nothing. Am I real? Am I living? Is this all just a dream? I keep hurting people through my sin. It’s sin. It’s sin. It’s all sin. I’m harboring death inside of me. I’m clinging to silence. I’m a fraud, a fake, an inconsiderate, unkind, despicable daughter/girl/person. I have to get my head on straight. I’m abusing God’s grace and I’m being so, so unbearably selfish. And I never turn to God when I should… I’d rather purge. And it’s all too abstractly real and vaguely present and undeniably non-existent. And it’s all completely totally my fault and I am held responsible for using God and causing pain on pain and hurting others.
I WANT TO BE THIN!!!!