Wednesday, February 9th, 2011Mature

I’ve gotta stop.  I have to break.  I feel nothing.  Am I real?  Am I living?  Is this all just a dream?  I keep hurting people through my sin.  It’s sin.  It’s sin.  It’s all sin.  I’m harboring death inside of me.  I’m clinging to silence.  I’m a fraud, a fake, an inconsiderate, unkind, despicable daughter/girl/person.  I have to get my head on straight.  I’m abusing God’s grace and I’m being so, so unbearably selfish.  And I never turn to God when I should… I’d rather purge.  And it’s all too abstractly real and vaguely present and undeniably non-existent.  And it’s all completely totally my fault and I am held responsible for using God and causing pain on pain and hurting others.

            I WANT TO BE THIN!!!!

The End

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