One of these days, I do want real relationships again. I’m just not strong enough right now to be weak. Pride, in others words, it describes the state of my heart/soul right now to a T. I know I have to give in to this love eventually. It will win out. It just requires me to break down completely and let myself, my true self, be seen and loved. Loved for who I am. How can I be so selfish as to not let others love me? Why do I still so much want to be thin?
Now I truly am abusing His grace because I won’t take it. That’s to my downfall, too. You think it would be a no-brainer! The truth is, I can’t give it all to Him yet… I don’t trust Him.
There’s the awful, awful truth.