The dumps

Emotions regurgitated on the internet for all to see

Life appears to be such an easy ride for some people. They are carefree, relaxed, and content. Their troubles range from forgetting homework to a lack of coffee in the house when they wake up. Their complaints are always so trivial and ridiculous in comparison to my own troubles. I find it hard to believe that they will moan about these insignificances when there are a great many other things to be concerned with. Perhaps they aren't sharing everything with me? That's certainly a possibility. I have things going on that I wouldn't bring up in conversation with them.

My friends know me. They know of my illnesses, my aspirations, and my miseries. I don't seem to be able to deal with them on my own. Talking helps; it lessens the load when someone else can look at it objectively and give their views on the situation. I am lucky to have had such good people in my life. Their support has kept me going through it all. Though there are some problems which can't be discussed among a group of friends.

Sensitive information that should be kept secret will remain that way. I wish I could talk about it. It would help me I think, and yet I can't. It must be kept secret, hidden from the world. It happened before then. I learned of it months later. I was happy until I heard . . . Then something cracked.

It was like a concrete fist had struck me in the stomach. I felt betrayed. I was having such a good streak of happiness that eventually something would cause it to plummet. My mood had maintained a steady and constant high for months. Still . . . Nothing could have prepared me for this.

Now, many months after the initial shock, it still aches. The wound has healed but the nerve is still exposed. As a regular daydreamer, my mind wanders on a consistent basis. I could be paying perfect attention and then it hits me again, prodding a part of me that is sensitive and bruised. Trying to deal with it is an issue because I am sworn to secrecy. I am confused and angry, and desperately want it to end.

The End

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