How could he explain this, so many questions racing through his mind as he sat in the dark, alone as always. It had been weeks since he'd seen the light of the sun. The clock on his table flashing ominously in the dark "12:00...12:00," casting a dim light onto his blood soaked sleeve. Occasionally, the red light flickered, glistening off the needles covering his arm. The room smelled of stale cigarette smoke, and old sex. It filled his lungs as he breathed it in deeply, reminiscing of a time not so long ago, but it felt as if it had been a lifetime, as if it were a past life he couldn't escape from. It haunted his every turn, and he couldn't escape. He was trapped in this sleepless, mundayne hollowness.
Empty. He was empty on the inside, the ghosts screaming into his ear every time he shut his eyes, snapping his mind back to attention for a few moments. If there was a hell, this was his own personal hell, the walls surrounding him, the darkness creeping into his very soul.
He snapped back to the all too familiar tone, the vibrating, and flashing light in the corner of his eye. He turned his head slowly to look down at the screen, "dad." He could feel the tears running down, he couldn't stop them. The one man he hated more than anything else, he resented him. He hated him for not being there, for being an abusive alcoholic, for putting him down his entire life, for telling him he was NOT his son. All he had ever wanted growing up was to play one game of catch on the front lawn, one fishing trip, even one conversation.
The vibrating stopped, the light faded into the darkness, the resounding thud as it bounced off the wall. The only thing he ever wanted was for his dad to call, just once, and tell him that he was proud of him...but even that seemed to difficult. Trying to make up for not being there, when he needed him the most hurt most of all, like a knife out of the blackness.
His tear filled eyes began to descend to the floor, like they were made of lead. He could make out the shadow of something in the corner, just out of his view. The shadow crept closer, wrapping itself around him in an all too familiar way.