Dear A,

It's been three years since you walked into our classroom. Three years since I first set my eyes on you, three years since my heart's been free.

He's the one I'm going to marry, I thought, the moment I saw you. He's the one, he's the one, he's the one. I won't spend my life with anyone else, I can't spend my life with anyone else. 

You're beautiful. Any girl would fall for that perfect hair, the beautiful chocolate brown skin, the muscles. But that's not why I fell for you. 

Your eyes. I saw your eyes and became blind to everything else. After I went home I could hardly remember what you looked like. All I remembered was those big amber eyes, those eyes full of light and dark and everything imaginable. I couldn't sleep that night, or the next night, or the night after that. All I could do was dream about those amber eyes of yours. And I still find it hard to sleep, I still can't help turning to the side in the middle of class to look at you and your eyes and hear your voice and watch your theater of expressions. I still can't get over you.

I watched you be a nobody when you first came, then watch you become popular and a hit with every girl in school.  I watched you every morning as you led your house during march past, and smiled in my head as I said in my imagination to the girl next to me, He's mine, you see? The captain of red house? The handsome boy who can do anything, knows everything? He's mine, he just hasn't realized it yet.

I watched you so much. I watched as you dated my best friend, not realizing that you were mine. I watched as you then broke her heart, dumping her for my enemy. I seethed with rage for months after that. I couldn't believe, I didn't believe, I still don't believe that you were that worthless. I watched you date that b*tch after that, knowing that she didn't deserve you. Remember that all those times she was going to dump you as unceremoniously as you dumped my friend before that? Remember all those times that she was going to, but she didn't? Did you ever wonder who made her change her mind? Did you ever think that I could love you so much as to keep you with the person I hated the most , just so you would be happy? Did you ever even spare a glance for me?

I watched as you started ragging V, someone so close that I call him my brother. I watched him take those words that rained on him like knives everyday, I watched him stand strong as you tried to break his morale and push him down. I watched, horrified, him telling me how you secretly threatened to physically harm him. I hear him abuse you everyday, I hear you abuse him everyday.

I watched you become the person I never thought you'd be. You became some one led by your ego, not caring to notice those people who really loved you, cared for you. You squandered everything you had, wasted your time and effort going after girls who's chests were bigger than their brains or their hearts. You became this violent creature, just a shadow of what you once were. But I still kept faith in you. I still think that you'll straighten out and become that man who walked into our classroom and my heart three years ago. Still, everyday, as I watch you lead your house, I think, maybe not with the same pride, but yes, I think, He's mine, he just doesn't know it yet. He's mine.

Wishing you the best in life,

Ritu x

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