I Can't Deal With ThisMature

I Can't Deal With This - 16/03/14

When the words are cut off
When the well has run dry
What am I meant to do
To get by?

All I've ever known
Is these words I write
And I'm struggling
To phrase them right

I want to scream at you so damn much
I want to make you see this isn't enough
I can live with losing my other half
But I can't deal with this
Persist in calling me a girl
Clearly I haven't explained this properly
So let me try again

When I look in the mirror
That person isn't me
The feature don't match
I want scratch my own skin

Every single time you don't acknowledge
I feel ready to give up honest
I've had enough of being the bigger person
So I'll throw emotional blackmail right back at you

I want to scream at you so damn much
I want to make you see this isn't enough
I can live with losing my other half
But I can't deal with this
Persist in calling me a girl
Clearly I haven't explained this properly
So let me try again

I lived like you wanted me too
I tried to fight it I did
But I couldn't anymore
There's a physical pain

When I keep trying in vain
To make you understand
I'm tired of the expectations
Find another model child
Cause it won't be me

I want to scream at you so damn much
I want to make you see this isn't enough
I can live with losing my other half
But I can't deal with this
Persist in calling me a girl
Clearly I haven't explained this properly
So let me try again

This is my life
I know how I need to live it
Don't you trust that you raised me well enough
To make this decision?

Let me be myself
Accept that guy
He's who I've always been
I've just been wearing the wrong mask
I'm pleading quite desperately
Let me be me

The End

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