I brought the purse outside because I was waiting for my ride.
I put the purse on the table because I was taking a sip of my drink.
I LEFT the purse on the table when I spilled the drink all over me.
I left it on the table, and then I hurried to clean off my shirt.
I left the porch door open so that no one would steal the purse!
I left the bathroom door open, because I was rushing to clean up the mess.
It was then that I realized
I needed to pee.
And I KEPT the door open, so I could hear the commotion.
But I didn't think
that my ride would arrive
and come right on in,
and find me just sitting there
taking an unexpected (but marvelous) CRAP!