This is a short text about a mind opening story that happened to me. I'm just thinking to myself.
I always questioned myself: "What happens when I die?" A bit cliche, but it's exciting and sad to think about it. I am really curious to know the answer, but at the same time, I don't want to leave my loved ones. So I stop thinking about it. Simple, right? Wrong. I've always been one to question the world, it's logic, it's origin and mostly it's end, so the ideas never stop coming, they just keep going away and back everyday, everytime. It's exhausting, I'll admit it, but I'm glad that I am this way. Some people worry about money, some worry about love. I worry about life. Not as a whole, but as itself. Let me explain with a little story.
When I was 7 - 11 years old, the news were on TV, so me and my mom sat down and watched a bit. They talked about politics, money, crimes, etc., but I never really paid attention to those. What got my eye was a famous priest talking about the world's end, and he said it was going to happen. So I asked my mom: "Why will the world end?". Then she answered me: "Because not everyone believes in God." That opened my mind like a book, and I thought to myself: "Is this really it? That's the answer? If people don't start believing in Him, He's just going to finish us off like ants?" But since I'm a Christian, I knew He wouldn't do that. But even so, every night I went to bed, I imagined a meteor crashing down in our heads, or acid rain, or zombies, or global death desease. So much, one night I was only able to sleep listening to Full Metal Alchemist 1st opening, a very happy song.
When December 21st, 2012 came in, I was terrified, and I was 14 years old. I didn't know if I felt more sadness, anger, hapiness or curiosity, but I realised one thing: I was still alive. I was alive to live that moment of doubt, I was alive feel, to see, to taste all the things that still awaited me ahead, I was alive to think that the world still has many closed doors for me to open and witness what's inside, I was alive to open them all and live my life.
I'm alive not to questions life's course, or to question what lies beyond the final door. If it mattered, we would know.
I am alive, to be alive.