I Wanted

Dear Daddy,

There are a few things I wanted to say, but somehow I can't say them. I wanted to tell you about how lonely and excluded and out-of-it I feel all the time, but somehow the words were blocked in my throat and wouldn't come out. It feels like they're building up, just angry words bonded together by steel strings of emotions that I don't want to feel.

So I'll ask you about my hopes and dreams instead. You know I want to dance: you know that's what I want to do. Am I crazy to want to get to the Worlds'? The other girls at dancing certainly think so, but I don't want to believe that it's impossible. If you could just give me one sign that I'm not crazy -- let me win just one of my Intermediate dances this Saturday -- I would feel so much better. But right now I'm wondering if I should see someone about my stupid optimism.

I know you probably don't care about that sort of thing. So I'll move on. About that loneliness. Can you do anything about it? No one invites me to anything, that's something I've noticed. I find that I'm the only one not coming to the cinema or to the park. The only time I was invited to celebrate somebody's birthday it was because the rest of my year was in France on a trip.

And it's not just people at school, too, it's everyone. I'm always the last to be included.

You know it hurts me when I'm left out like that. Please don't leave me here, waiting for someone to include me. Please don't let me be alone forever.

With love,
Your daughter.

The End

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