This is simply a a briefing on the characteristics and personalities of the minds that are mine.
My name is Neanic, not really, but it is who I am right now. I go by different names and posses different identities inside of myself. Yes, that is correct, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder. Dissociative identity disorder, which used to be called multiple personality disorder, is usually a reaction to trauma as a way to help a person steer clear of bad memories. Dissociative identity disorder is when there is a presence of two or more distinct personalities in a person. Each personality may have their own name, history and characteristics.
There are three people in me and their names are: Syness, Neanic and De'Niece. They all carry their own characteristics and show themselves whenever they please. I have no control over who is in control at any time. You may think "You created them, you should be able to control them and get rid of them," but it is much more complicated than that. It will take time to explain how it is not that simple.
First I would like to introduce you to who I am right now, Neanic. The word neanic means youthful, more specifically it is the pupal stage of insect development. I made Neanic when I was 12, I did not notice it at the time, but instead 7 years later. Neanic is almost lifeless at times. She posses little to no emotions, mostly feeling sadness or the need to speak. She does not care what is said or what is done around her. She has no desire to do anything besides talk about things that are saddening. She does not smile, she does not laugh, she merely has a empty or saddened expression at all times. She can be easily irritable when people interrupt her, speak over her, or ignore her. If you hurt her feelings, all she will do is ignore you and give you the cold shoulder. She does not like music, movies, or social activities. She does however enjoy writing and drawing. Which is why I believe I am here now. Neanic is my second personality and is not in control most of the time. She rarely surfaces but when she does she remains in control for a day or two at a time.
Do I like Neanic? Of course I do. Why? I like Neanic because she helps me vent. She may make me cry, but it is only because I need to. My life has not been an easy one and she reminds me of that. The tears she causes are there to tell me that it is okay to cry. The tears tell me that I do not have to be strong all of the time. The tears remind me that I am just like everyone else. If most people went through what I have gone through, they would cry to. When thoughts haunt me, Neanic arises and says "It is okay, let your tears fall my child. You are not alone. I am here with you. I share your pain, you can talk to me because I love you, scars and all."
"Why don't you just make friends and talk to them about it?" Honestly, I have tried that. I only have two people in my life who have an idea of what I have been through. I have tried talking to them about my feelings but it is just too much for them and they can't handle it. They don't want to hear what I have to say because it makes them angry. The last thing I want to do is upset others with problems from my past. "Just go to counseling." I have tried that too, but I can't make all of me trust a psychiatrist. I was already diagnosed. I don't like going to these people, because they love to recommend prescriptions or saying I have other disorders. I am not crazy. I am just heavily scarred. I had no one else to turn to at the time, so I made Neanic.
- Favorite color: Red
- Favorite food: Pickles
- Favorite song: Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez
- Favorite Movie: Memoirs of a Geisha
- Favorite Band/Artist: Melanie Martinez
- Favorite Activity: Reading, writing or drawing.
- Favorite Author: Edgar Allan Poe
- Favorite Writing by said Author??: Annabelle Lee
- Other: I like to smoke, mostly because it helps me focus. I like to spend time alone in my room with all of my pretty lights. I love laying around and just being with my thoughts, tear inducing or not.