All I need is someone to get that I feel like the biggest of morons for letting this happen to me.
Because although that cliff looked fun to fall off its incredibly difficult to climb up even after escaping the pain I was in whilst down there in which I ended my affairs with that said person in the first place. So in the end I am left still bruised emotionally. And now it all bubbles down to strength. Something I hate to admit, sometimes I dont have. And I sit here ruined and crazy and I feel almost un normal, but what's normal? I feel through everything I lost my mind a long time ago and days feel more confusing and hopeless for me as I think about past days that were happy and i wish I could relive only them ones without any circumstances occurring but of course that is not possible and for me to ponder all the while wether to end a life that is apparently unique in the universe yet im barely ever given the chance to be happy for a long while and I feel im never given a break in life. I must remember I have ones who do care. Even the ones who didnt understand and merely dramaticised a situation and scribbled me out of their lives which surely wont help how im feeling anyways which then surely it is better to be alone, as i witness that human beings hurt. even subconciously, they hurt.