Death to Polaroid - The Blind Date

Harper sets up a blind date for Mara so that she will get over her avid obsession with David Bowie.

"DEATH TO POLAROID"

CAST AND SET LIST

CAST:

HARPER HUDSON

MARA FINCH

GEORGE

COLE

KINGSLEY KINGSTON

LATIN CLUB MEMBERS

DAVE [a celebrity cut out of David Bowie]

SETS:

INTERIOR-

COFFEE SHOP/LOUNGE 

EXTERIOR-

PARK

 

OPENING CREDITS

FADE IN:

INTERIOR - COFFEE SHOP/LOUNGE

1 HARPER is sitting on a couch with a pad of paper and a pen, concentrating. There is a sign in front of her that says "Blind Date Applicants - Line Starts Here" and there are a few guys standing impatiently in a line. She beckons and the first in the line sits down oppossite of her.

HARPER

[in a droning tone] Name.

GEORGE

George.

HARPER

I see... [she scribbles furiously] So...George. What is your favorite book?

GEORGE

[looks confused] My favorite...book?

HARPER

Repeating the question is not an answer. I take this job very seriously. I would hope you do the same.

GEORGE

[looks nervous] I...uhh...

HARPER

[sighs] I guess I'll have to repeat myself. What is your favorite book?

GEORGE

I don't read books.

HARPER

[feigns absolute shock] You don't read?!

GEORGE

I don't get it. Aren't you supposed to ask me favorite color or something?

HARPER

[loudly, while waving her pen] Next!

GEORGE

[stammering while getting up] But I didn't have time to prepare!

HARPER

I said next!

(exit GEORGE, enter COLE, sitting opposite HARPER)

HARPER

Name.

COLE

Cole Coleman. But everyone calls me Cole.

HARPER

[scribbles furiously, and nods] Coleslaw. Okay.

COLE

No, it's Cole. Like...Colllllldddd.

HARPER

Colllllllslawwwww.

COLE

No. Cole.

HARPER

I know. Coleslaw.

COLE

I really think you have it wrong it's actual--

HARPER

Coleslaw. God, don't you even know your own name? [raises pen as to direct him away] Next!

(there is nobody in line. she looks around and shrugs and goes back to her notes. a guy runs up gasping for breath)

KINGSLEY

Am I late?

HARPER

[dramatically pauses to look around both ways] No. Sit down.

KINGSLEY

So, I have all of my credentials here. [hands HARPER a large stack of paperwork]

HARPER

[looking confused] I see...

KINGSLEY

[pointing to one of the sheets of paper] As you'll see I've been an active member of the chess club, the math club, the French club, and I singlehandedly founded the Kingston Thespian Troupe among many others. I like to take not only my academia, but my extracurricular activities very seriously.

HARPER

[looks around, shrugs] You'll do.

KINGSLEY

I knew it! I beat out the other applicants! I shall be the best Latin Club president you have ever known. [goes to shake HARPER'S hand]

HARPER

Yeah...Latin Club...sure.

[cut to scene of Latin Club members sitting at an empty table]

MEMBER

I wonder where all the club applicants are?

EXTERIOR - PARK SCENE

2 MARA is sitting on a swing with the hood of her jacket up, sheis smoking a cigarette and looking angsty. Her lifesize David Bowie cutout is propped up against the swing next to her.

 

MARA

[to DAVE] I wonder where Harper is...she was supposed to be here a thousand hours ago. [she pauses for DAVE'S response] You're right, she probably forgot her keys or something. [looks at DAVE affectionately] Thanks for walking to the park with me, Dave.

(enter HARPER)

HARPER

Hey Mara, hey Dave, sorry I'm late.

MARA

Where were you?

HARPER

Oh, yeah...I was uh...you know. [looks at the DAVE pleadingly for an excuse] Yeah, I forgot my keys.

MARA

That's fine. So, Dave tells me you're planning a suprise.

HARPER

[glares at DAVE] You weren't supposed to say anything.

MARA

Well?

HARPER

Fine. I got you a date.

MARA

A what?

HARPER

You know, that thing normal people are supposed to do. A date. With a boy.

MARA

God, what for?

HARPER

All you ever do is sit out here with Dave.

MARA

Dave doesn't mind, do you Dave? [she pauses] See?

HARPER

You're going on this date.

MARA

[mumbles incoherently]

FADE OUT.

 

The End

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