Death to Polaroid - The Blind Date
"DEATH TO POLAROID" CAST AND SET LIST CAST: HARPER HUDSON MARA FINCH GEORGE COLE KINGSLEY KINGSTON LATIN CLUB MEMBERS DAVE [a celebrity cut out of David Bowie] SETS: INTERIOR- COFFEE SHOP/LOUNGE EXTERIOR- PARK OPENING CREDITS FADE IN: INTERIOR - COFFEE SHOP/LOUNGE 1 HARPER is sitting on a couch with a pad of paper and a pen, concentrating. There is a sign in front of her that says "Blind Date Applicants - Line Starts Here" and there are a few guys standing impatiently in a line. She beckons and the first in the line sits down oppossite of her. HARPER [in a droning tone] Name. GEORGE George. HARPER I see... [she scribbles furiously] So...George. What is your favorite book? GEORGE [looks confused] My favorite...book? HARPER Repeating the question is not an answer. I take this job very seriously. I would hope you do the same. GEORGE [looks nervous] I...uhh... HARPER [sighs] I guess I'll have to repeat myself. What is your favorite book? GEORGE I don't read books. HARPER [feigns absolute shock] You don't read?! GEORGE I don't get it. Aren't you supposed to ask me favorite color or something? HARPER [loudly, while waving her pen] Next! GEORGE [stammering while getting up] But I didn't have time to prepare! HARPER I said next! (exit GEORGE, enter COLE, sitting opposite HARPER) HARPER Name. COLE Cole Coleman. But everyone calls me Cole. HARPER [scribbles furiously, and nods] Coleslaw. Okay. COLE No, it's Cole. Like...Colllllldddd. HARPER Colllllllslawwwww. COLE No. Cole. HARPER I know. Coleslaw. COLE I really think you have it wrong it's actual-- HARPER Coleslaw. God, don't you even know your own name? [raises pen as to direct him away] Next! (there is nobody in line. she looks around and shrugs and goes back to her notes. a guy runs up gasping for breath) KINGSLEY Am I late? HARPER [dramatically pauses to look around both ways] No. Sit down. KINGSLEY So, I have all of my credentials here. [hands HARPER a large stack of paperwork] HARPER [looking confused] I see... KINGSLEY [pointing to one of the sheets of paper] As you'll see I've been an active member of the chess club, the math club, the French club, and I singlehandedly founded the Kingston Thespian Troupe among many others. I like to take not only my academia, but my extracurricular activities very seriously. HARPER [looks around, shrugs] You'll do. KINGSLEY I knew it! I beat out the other applicants! I shall be the best Latin Club president you have ever known. [goes to shake HARPER'S hand] HARPER Yeah...Latin Club...sure. [cut to scene of Latin Club members sitting at an empty table] MEMBER I wonder where all the club applicants are? EXTERIOR - PARK SCENE 2 MARA is sitting on a swing with the hood of her jacket up, sheis smoking a cigarette and looking angsty. Her lifesize David Bowie cutout is propped up against the swing next to her. MARA [to DAVE] I wonder where Harper is...she was supposed to be here a thousand hours ago. [she pauses for DAVE'S response] You're right, she probably forgot her keys or something. [looks at DAVE affectionately] Thanks for walking to the park with me, Dave. (enter HARPER) HARPER Hey Mara, hey Dave, sorry I'm late. MARA Where were you? HARPER Oh, yeah...I was uh...you know. [looks at the DAVE pleadingly for an excuse] Yeah, I forgot my keys. MARA That's fine. So, Dave tells me you're planning a suprise. HARPER [glares at DAVE] You weren't supposed to say anything. MARA Well? HARPER Fine. I got you a date. MARA A what? HARPER You know, that thing normal people are supposed to do. A date. With a boy. MARA God, what for? HARPER All you ever do is sit out here with Dave. MARA Dave doesn't mind, do you Dave? [she pauses] See? HARPER You're going on this date. MARA [mumbles incoherently] FADE OUT.




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